I thought I felt it move my hair

Hey North Korea: you suck at shooting missiles. Missed me!!! nya nya nya! Oh, shit! RUN!! He has another one! A bigger one! The biggest dong of them all!!
When S told me some people from North Korea were shooting off into the sky this morning, I thought I'd just stay in bed, waiting for the heavy thudding of warheads penetrating the subway system, and then get up in time to watch the blast wave push over my neighbourhood, but instead I had to go to work. And so instead of being blown up, we will all continue with commerce. We're a lucky species. So so so lucky and blessed.
Count the blessings with me:
1. computers.
2. the internet.
3. babies.
4. floppy disks.
5. hair.
6. whales.
7. rich people.
8. rain.
9. religion.
10. websites.
11. plastics.
12. the moon.
13. armpit hair.
14. books about magic.
15. the Mouse.
16. the word 'lever'.
17. hair styles.
18. puberty.
19. notebooks.
27. black & white.
39. panty-hose.
53. entertainment television.
734. other planets.
1,249. poopies.
25,923. Mr. Dress-up.
12,390,294. nudity.
123,423,532,112. horse-hair.
1,234,765,239,664,235. The last one: movies!

So there, nuclear powers! Yeah, I'm looking at you. Try to take those away!
Wait; don't, actually.
peeeeace.